Coming out of Darkness

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

Afraid of the dark? Me too, or at least I used to be. There was a time when I wandered aimlessly in the disorientation that an all consuming blackness could bring on. I remember feeling totally lost with no sense of direction. Constantly groping for a lamp, a candle, even a match, anything that would bring the slightest bit of brightness into my world.

Now, I'm not saying that everything in my life was horrible, on the surface it may have seemed normal, but I felt no sense of hope for future improvement. I did not see how my situation could ever get better and in fact my circumstances were spiraling out of control. My personal life, my home life, my health all reaching destructive extremes. I had my husband, but our relationship was rapidly deteriorating. My job was taking over my life as I worked harder to try to reach the goal of a better schedule and better pay justifying it to myself the whole time saying it was for the good of my family. I had gained an inordinate amount of weight and was unhealthy many times over. The only really hopeful thing in my life was my daughter. A young child, she had her whole life ahead of her, if I didn't do something to mess her up.

What changed? Jesus! Not that he "changed" but I did. I finally saw the light, His light. By reconnecting with Jesus I opened my heart and life to the light of the glory of God. All the scary places that once were hidden and filled with frightening possibilities were suddenly in the open and illuminated with the truth, my reality of God's hope in my life. He cared and He had a plan for my future. Once the hidden things, the scary things were revealed in the light they no longer had the same power over me. Just like Halloween decorations and costumes are frightening in the dark but lose there scare quality in the light, the things that were difficult in my life were not as overpowering once they were in the open. With God's help, I was able to work on them and take steps to resolve them.

I still have moments where the darkness tries to rear its ugliness in my life. During times of great stress, emotional pain and struggle if I let my focus settle on the problem and not my provider the light begins to dim and I feel the coldness of the dark as starts to creep in. I had to grasp this "knowledge of the glory of God" and learn to trust Him. Today I know all I have to do is call on Jesus for help. Although my situation may be difficult, and many times it is hard to surrender and reach out, I know I will feel His touch guide me back to the warmth of His light. He is faithful. He is the light in the darkness of this world. He is in control.

God, thank you for being the light in my darkness. Thank you for not leaving me there to grope around in the darkness on my own. I praise you for being my hope and leading me to the reality you had planned for my life. Help me continue to walk in your light by seeking you in your Word and in prayer.