Coming out of Darkness

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

Afraid of the dark? Me too, or at least I used to be. There was a time when I wandered aimlessly in the disorientation that an all consuming blackness could bring on. I remember feeling totally lost with no sense of direction. Constantly groping for a lamp, a candle, even a match, anything that would bring the slightest bit of brightness into my world.

Now, I'm not saying that everything in my life was horrible, on the surface it may have seemed normal, but I felt no sense of hope for future improvement. I did not see how my situation could ever get better and in fact my circumstances were spiraling out of control. My personal life, my home life, my health all reaching destructive extremes. I had my husband, but our relationship was rapidly deteriorating. My job was taking over my life as I worked harder to try to reach the goal of a better schedule and better pay justifying it to myself the whole time saying it was for the good of my family. I had gained an inordinate amount of weight and was unhealthy many times over. The only really hopeful thing in my life was my daughter. A young child, she had her whole life ahead of her, if I didn't do something to mess her up.

What changed? Jesus! Not that he "changed" but I did. I finally saw the light, His light. By reconnecting with Jesus I opened my heart and life to the light of the glory of God. All the scary places that once were hidden and filled with frightening possibilities were suddenly in the open and illuminated with the truth, my reality of God's hope in my life. He cared and He had a plan for my future. Once the hidden things, the scary things were revealed in the light they no longer had the same power over me. Just like Halloween decorations and costumes are frightening in the dark but lose there scare quality in the light, the things that were difficult in my life were not as overpowering once they were in the open. With God's help, I was able to work on them and take steps to resolve them.

I still have moments where the darkness tries to rear its ugliness in my life. During times of great stress, emotional pain and struggle if I let my focus settle on the problem and not my provider the light begins to dim and I feel the coldness of the dark as starts to creep in. I had to grasp this "knowledge of the glory of God" and learn to trust Him. Today I know all I have to do is call on Jesus for help. Although my situation may be difficult, and many times it is hard to surrender and reach out, I know I will feel His touch guide me back to the warmth of His light. He is faithful. He is the light in the darkness of this world. He is in control.

God, thank you for being the light in my darkness. Thank you for not leaving me there to grope around in the darkness on my own. I praise you for being my hope and leading me to the reality you had planned for my life. Help me continue to walk in your light by seeking you in your Word and in prayer.

Squeezing through the Narrow Gate

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Matthew 7:13-14

No one ever said that traveling the road to who God wants us to be would be easy. This road is rocky, it is strewn with pits in which we can fall, it even has slippery slopes that may cause us to slide in the wrong direction. This road is also very narrow and the gate is small. To follow this roadway and enter through the gate of righteousness we have to focus and we have to do it with purpose. No one does this by accident or without thought.

Sometimes when we are trekking our way through the ups and downs of life we are faced with decisions or choices that are obviously not on the narrow path. When we come up against them, the choice may be clear but actually stepping out and moving in the right direction may not be so simple when those around us are pulling us toward the wide road. I have faced this time and time again in my life as I am sure you have. Your peers are all joining in, traveling together by sharing gossip, making judgments of others or planning an event that on the surface sounds like fun. Then you have to decide if you want to tag along on this seemingly harmless venture or excuse yourself from the happenings in favor of a less popular stand.

Think hard, pray hard everyday for God to guide your steps. Just because everyone else is going a certain way does not mean that you should. The wide road has lots of room for those who make the often too easy decision for the path of least resistance. You must risk being seen as different and unpopular, the "party pooper" at times knowing that God stands beside you in it. Few choose the right path because many times it is not the painless choice, obvious but not comfortable. Making the right choice that keeps you out of the loop or sets you apart from others can be hard but squeezing yourself through the narrow gate will pay off. You will feel better about your choices and yourself for standing up for Jesus and following his light as he leads you on his path.

Lord I thank you for your patience and the love you show me as I struggle at times making the right decision. I thank you also that even when I may step off the path, you are there to guide me back in the right direction. It's a continuing process and I am searching diligently for you and your light.